The CIA Framework can be used for:

• Evaluating relationships we have
• Evaluating a potential partner for a relationship
• Evaluating our selves in relationships
• Evaluating the direction for personal and relationship growth

Interested

• A persons demonstrates interest by how they chose to spend their time.
• Making choices
• How much time do they spend time with you?  With other people? With other activities?
• Does this person pay attention to you when you are together?
• Does this person think about you when the two of you are not together?

Available: Physical, Mental and Emotional

Physically Available

• Being physically present with you
• Versus being physically absent

Mentally Available

• Paying attention to you when you are together
• Not getting distracted
• Expressing what he/she is thinking, being willing to carry on a conversation
• Having positive beliefs about the benefits of relationships

Emotionally Available

• Being willing and able to feel a wide range of emotions
• Being willing and able to express these emotions
• Versus conscious and/or unconscious denial

Capable

• Being able to listen to another
  – Able to focus attention
  – Listen without self preoccupation, listen without judgement
• Be able to understand
• Be able to empathize
• Be able to interpret the meaning of what is said correctly
• Be able and willing to express ones self
  – Without defensiveness
  – Express self spontaneously and deliberately with fore thought

Capable, Interested, Available together

• If interested we make our self available.
• If available we seek out people who we could be interested in.
• If capable, we have relationship hunger.  We seek out relationships. We have interest and make our self available

To begin reading the full article, let’s get started with Interested.