The Operating Manual for the Self®

A series of Letters for Insight and Innovation

Index: Scroll down to browse Letter topics. Click Page to access the full Letter. Some topics contain a series of Letters. There are images to enjoy.

Pain and Suffering and Effective Strategies for Living

  1. July 2023    Page   Pain and Suffering—The Good News, Part I: Introduction, Definition and Nature of Pain and Suffering, Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Pain and Suffering, Conclusion
  2. October 2023    Page   Avoiding Pain with Effective Strategies for Living. Part I: Introduction, Effective Strategies for Living Summary, Needs and Strategies, Desire, Expectation, and Hope, Feelings, Examples, Conclusion
  3. December 2023    Page   Effective Strategies for Living. Part II: Introduction, Responsibility and Awareness, Strategies, Problems and Issues, Beliefs, Conclusion
  4. April 2024    Page   Pain and Suffering Part II, Causes and Responses: Introduction, Fundamental Strategies Regarding Pain and Suffering, Beliefs and Pain and Suffering, Processing Pain and Suffering, Putting The Fundamental Strategy Into Action Examples, Conclusion
  5. June 2024   Page    Pain and Suffering Part III, Beliefs, Causes, and Responses: Introduction, Beliefs and Pain and Suffering, Disempowering and Empowering Beliefs, Putting The Fundamental Strategy Into Action Examples, Conclusion

Innocence and Vulnerability

  1. November 2022    Page    Innocence and Vulnerability: Introduction, Definition and Aspects of Innocence and Vulnerability, Personal and Interpersonal Benefits of Innocence and Vulnerability, Conclusion
  2. January 2023    Page      Innocence and Vulnerability, Part II: Introduction, The Personal and Interpersonal Benefits of Innocence and Vulnerability, Developing Innocence and Vulnerability, Conclusion
  3. March 2023    Page   Innocence and Vulnerability, Resistance, Part I: Introduction, Definition of Resistance, Resistance to Innocence and Vulnerability, Resolving Resistance, Conclusion
  4. May 2023     Page   Innocence and Vulnerability, Resistance Part II: Introduction, Review, Resistance from Misunderstanding, Boundary Defense, Self-Judgement, Self-Image, Strengths, Family Messages and Experience, Defense Mechanisms, and Love and Intimacy, Conclusion


  • September 2022    Page   Caring: Wonderful but Use With Caution: Introduction, Definition, Caring in Relationships, Uses of Caring, Caring Phrases, Hazards of Caring Too Much, Conclusion


  1. February 2022    Page   Responsibility, Caring, and Freedom: Introduction, Responsibility, Responsibility From Caring, Freedom, The Future and Making Mistakes, Resistance to Freedom, Conclusion
  2. April 2022    Page   Freedom: Use and Blockages (Part I): Introduction, Definition of Freedom, Using Our Freedom, Blockages, Interference, Distortions, and Negative Influences, Lifelong Growth, Conclusion
  3. June 2022     Page    Freedom: Use and Blockages (Part II): Introduction, Blockages, Freedom Anxiety, Freedom and the Human Spirit, Distortions of Freedom, Conclusion

Responsibility and False Responsibility

  1. April 2021    Page   Responsibility: The Secret of Personal Power: Introduction, Responsibility And Accountability, Personal Power, The Relationship Between Responsibility/Accountability And Power, Abuse Of Power, Conscience, Practices For Taking Responsibility And Accepting Accountability, Conclusion
  2. June 2021    Page    Responsibility: A Self-Esteem Necessity: Introduction, Definition Of Self-Esteem, False Self-Esteem, The Relationship Between Responsibility And Self-Esteem, Conclusion
  3. August 2021    Page    False Responsibility—Mistaken Ownership, Blame: Introduction, Definition, Taking On False Responsibility—How and Why, The Consequences of False Responsibility, Examples of False Responsibility, Conclusion
  4. October 2021     Page    Ending False Responsibility: Introduction, Recognizing False Responsibility, Approaches To Freeing Yourself From False Responsibility, Conclusion
  5. December 2021    Page    Ending False Responsibility Part (II): Introduction, Identification, Weak Boundaries, Inducing False Responsibility with Aggression and Abuse, Scapegoating and Racism, Conclusion
  6. February 2022    Page   Responsibility, Caring, and Freedom: Introduction, Responsibility, Responsibility From Caring, Freedom, The Future and Making Mistakes, Resistance to Freedom, Conclusion

Emotions And Feelings: Difference, Definitions, and Functions

  1. April 2020   Page  Emotions And Feelings: Difference, Definitions, and Functions. Part (I): Introduction, Definitions, The Functioning of Emotions, Feelings, and Thoughts, Conclusion
  2. June 2020   Page  Emotions and Feelings: Their Functioning Part (II): Introduction, Conflicting Emotions, Feeling Driven Thoughts, Male And Female Approaches To Emotions, Balance, Feelings, Conclusion
  3. August 2020   Page    Emotions and Feelings: Their Functioning Part (III): Introduction, Trusting Our Feelings, Mixed Feelings, Amalgams of Feeling, and Compounding Feeling, Hierarchy of Feeling, Conclusion
  4. October 2020   Page    Emotions And Feelings (IV): Techniques For Working With Our Emotions And Feelings Part (I):  Introduction, Experiencing Emotion and Feeling, Awareness, Ending Defense Mechanisms, Working with Pain, Managing a Feeling, Understanding The Messages Of Our Feelings, Conclusion
  5. December 2020  Page  Emotions And Feelings (V): Techniques For Working With Our Emotions And Feelings Part (II): Introduction,  Using Techniques To Seek To Feel Good All The Time, Hear And Follow The Messages Of Your Feelings, Changing Your Mood And Emotional Climate, Hierarchy Of Emotions, Holiday Message, Conclusion
  6. February 2021   Page   Emotions (VI): Thoughts, Behavior, and Impulses: Introduction, The Role of Thoughts in Emotion, Behavior, Impulse and Impulse Control, Conclusion

Glass Half Empty, Negativity

  1. August 2019     Page    The Glass Half Full/Glass Half Empty: Profound Perspectives: Introduction, Perspectives and Filters, Strengths and Weaknesses, Sequence: Completeness, Balance, and Flexibility, Points of Empowerment, Practice, Conclusion
  2. October 2019     Page     Negativity: Definition, Origin, and Effects: Introduction, Definition of Negativity, The Origin of Negativity, Effects of Negativity, Recognizing that You are Caught in Negativity, Life, Present Moments, and Emptiness, Conclusion
  3. December 2019  Page    Techniques for Freeing Yourself From Negativity, Part (I): Introduction, Recognizing the End of Negativity, Techniques and Approaches t0 Free Yourself from Negativity, A Positive Life, Conclusion
  4. February 2020   Page  Negativity: Techniques for Freeing Yourself (Part 2): Introduction, Techniques And Approaches To Ending Negativity, Resistance To Ending Negativity, A Positive Life, Conclusion, Addendum

Quantum Physics and Everyday Life

  1. October/November 2018   Page   Quantum Physics, Belief, and Choice Part (I): Introduction, Newton’s World, The Message of Quantum Physics, The Science of Quantum Physics, Explanation of the Double Slit Experiment and Results, Conclusions From the Experiment, Conclusion
  2. December 2018   Page   Applying Quantum Physics to our Everyday Life. Quantum Physics, Belief, and Choice Part (II): Introduction, What If, Fundamental Ideas, Waves of Probability, Potentials, Observation, Examples: Golf and Gratitude, Imagination, Belief, Conclusion
  3. January 2019   Page  Quantum Physics Part (III): Creating the Future: Introduction, Analogy; The Future; The Analogy, A Future Factory; Ordering, Manufacturing, Delivering, And Receiving Our Desires; Conclusion, The Deep Meaning Of Quantum Physics; Next Month Techniques To Use Everyday Quantum Physics To Create Our Future
  4. February 2019   Page   Part (IV): Techniques for Creating Your Future and Your Present Moment, Putting Self Psychology and Quantum Physics to Work: Introduction, Review, Imagination, A Challenge, A Context, Beliefs and Choice, Successful Action, Conclusion

Experiencing the Present Moment

  • March 2019       Page     Experiencing the Present Moment: Introduction, Definition Of The Present Moment, Cleaning Filters, Feeling, Thinking, Resistance, Conclusion, Further Considerations

Taking Charge of Your Life by Processing the Present Moment

  1. April 2019       Page     Processing the Present Moment: Introduction, Definition of Processing, Feelings, Interpreting for Meaning, Conclusion: Next Month’s Discussion
  2. May 2019     Page     Processing the Present Moment Part (II): Introduction, Interpreting for Understanding, Creating Memories, Generating Desires for the Future, Initiating Change, Taking Action, Conclusion
  3. June 2019     Page     Processing The Present Moment Part (III), Using The Challenge For Your Growth: Introduction, The Challenge For Your Growth, Processing With The Challenge, Conclusion

Empower Your Life With Choice

  1. August 2018   Page   Choice Part (I):  Introduction, What is choice? The Importance of Choice, Types of Choice, Conclusion, Future Topics About Choice
  2. September 2018   Page   Choice Part (II): Why We Make The Choices We Do, Putting Choice Into Action, Dealing with Consequences, Evaluating the Outcomes of Our Choice, Making Better Choices, Resistance to Conscious Choice, Conclusion

The Foundation of Your Life: Beliefs

  1. February 2018   Page   The Past, Memories, Beliefs, and the Self-fulfilling Prophesy: The Future, Present, and Past, The Past And Memory, Beliefs And Expectations, The Self-Fulfilling Prophesy, Beliefs and the Self-Fulfilling Prophesy, Examples, Change
  2. March 2018   Page   Beliefs (Part I): Introduction, Importance of Belief, Categories of Belief, Opinions, Beliefs About Cause and      Effect, Beliefs About the Nature of Reality, Beliefs About Ourselves, Beliefs About Our Values, Beliefs About What Is Possible for Us, Conclusion
  3. April 2018   Page   Beliefs (Part II): Introduction, Purpose of Belief, Formation of Beliefs, Levels of Belief: Operative, Intermediate, and Core, Limited, Mistaken, and Distorted Beliefs, Expansive Beliefs, Beliefs in Action, Conclusion
  4. May 2018   Page   Beliefs (Part III): Identifying Beliefs: Introduction, Techniques to Identify What You Believe, Identifying Operative, Intermediate, and Core Beliefs, Exploring and Understanding Our Beliefs Using the Categories of Belief, Conclusion
  5. June 2018   Page   Beliefs Part (IV): Changing Beliefs: Introduction, What should we change? Identify the belief that you want to change, Creating A New Belief, Installing the New Belief, Living Your New Beliefs, Conclusion
  6. July 2018   Page   Beliefs Part (V): Creating and Using Expansive Beliefs, Changing Beliefs: Introduction, What Expansive Beliefs Do, Finding Expansive Beliefs, Examples of Expansive Beliefs, Creating Expansive Beliefs, Changing Beliefs, Examples: Feelings, Self-esteem, Self-acceptance, Conclusion

Boundaries: Letting In With Yes, Keeping Out With No

  1. November 2017   Page   Boundaries: Constructions of the Self: Introduction, Definition, Physical, Mental, and Emotional Boundaries, Defense Mechanisms, Forming Boundaries, Healthy, and Dysfunctional Boundaries, Boundary Humor, The Art and Science of Using our Boundaries
  2. December 2017   Page   Boundaries, the Comfort Zone, and Holiday Happiness and Joy: Introduction, Boundary Review, Comfort Zone, Sources of Happiness and Joy in The Holiday Season, Holiday Stress, Warning, Changing Beliefs with Questions, Conclusion

Expanding The Boundaries Of Your Life, the Comfort Zone

  • January 2018   Page   Comfort Zone (Part II): Exploring New Aspects of The Lower Level: Introduction, The Comfort Zone, Challenge for Your Growth, Pain to Act On, Pain to Tolerate, Tolerating Painful Feelings, Identify and Change Beliefs, Conclusion

Selfies, The Self, Narcissism, and Self Love

  1. September 2017   Page   Selfies: Purpose, Identity, and Image: Selfies Introduction, Purpose of Taking a Selfie, Ability of the Month: Self-Awareness, Identity, Image, The Dark Side: Misuse and Abuse of Selfies
  2. October 2017   Page   Self-Love, Narcissism, and Selfies: Selfies and Narcissism, Narcissism and Self-Love, Definition of Love, Self-Love, Definition of Narcissism, Entitlement vs. Deserving, Extreme Narcissism: A Disturbance of The Self, Effective Parenting Dissipates the Narcissism of Childhood and Adolescence, Dysfunctional Parenting Encourages Narcissism, Antidote to Narcissism: Self-Acceptance, Self-Love, Self-Esteem, And Self-Worth, Conclusion: Self-Love

The New Analytical Matrix

  • August 2017   Page   The New Analytical Matrix: Why should we use the analytical Matrix? Aspects of Life, Abilities of the Month, The Analytical Matrix, Using the Matrix, Pleasure, Pleasure and Addiction, Passion, Deprivation, Frustration, and Aggression


  • July 2017   Page   Pleasure: Definition, The Function of Pleasure, Ability of the Month, Pain, Yin Yang Symbol: Pleasure and Pain, How to Experience and Enjoy Pleasure, Blockages to Pleasure, Misuse and Abuse of Pleasure, Addiction to Pleasure

Values Crucial Yet Misunderstood

  1. April 2017   Page   Values Crucial Yet Misunderstood: Our Purpose; The Definition of Values; Importance of Values; Ability of the Month–To Discern and Create Value; Misunderstanding Values; Using Values to Enrich Our Lives; Values and Mental Health
  2. May 2017   Page   Values Part II: Discovering Our Values, Resolving Value Conflicts, Ability Of The Month, To Discern Value, Discovering What Your Values Are, Changing Your Values, Value Conflicts, Resolving Value Conflicts
  3. June 2017   Page   Values Part III: The Distortion of Values, Foundations of Understanding, Ability of the Month: To Discern of Value, Do Distorted Values Exist?, How Can We Tell If We Are Holding a Distorted Value?, What Causes the Distortions of Value?, Correcting Distortions of Value, Related Issues


  1. February 2017   Page   Resistance Part I: The Blockage that Keeps Us from Being, Doing and Having What We Want; Our Purpose: To explore resistance as we initiate change (New Year’s resolutions) for ourselves, Definition of Resistance, Ability of the Month: To Be Able to Feel Fear, A Brief Look at Courage, In Self-Appreciation.
  2. March 2017   Page   Resistance Part II: The Blockage that Keeps Us from Being, Doing and Having What We Want, Ability of the Month, To Have Courage, Sources of Courage, Resolving Resistance by Changing Thoughts and Beliefs Using Questions, Example.

The Past, The Present, The Future

  • January 2017    Page   The Past, The Present, The Future: Goal Setting – Our Resistance to, Hope – The Power of, Ability of the month: To Sense Time, Self Appreciation – Inspiration

Holiday Issue

  • December 2016   Page   Holiday Issue: Eliminate Holiday Season Stress, Happiness and Joy, Balance and Harmony, The Ability of the Month: Feeling.

Inaugural Letter

  • November 2016   Pdf   Inaugural Newsletter: The Age of Empowerment, Our Logo, The Rainbow and the Infinity Sign as a Metaphor, Ability of the Month: Discernment.