The CIA Framework can be used for:

  • Evaluating relationships we have
  • Evaluating a potential partner for a relationship
  • Evaluating our selves in relationships
  • Evaluating the direction for personal and relationship growth


  • A persons demonstrates interest by how they chose to spend their time.
  • Making choices
  • How much time do they spend time with you?  With other people? With other activities?
  • Does this person pay attention to you when you are together?
  • Does this person think about you when the two of you are not together?

Available: Physical, Mental and Emotional

Physically Available

  • Being physically present with you
  • Versus being physically absent

Mentally Available

  • Paying attention to you when you are together
  • Not getting distracted
  • Expressing what he/she is thinking, being willing to carry on a conversation
  • Having positive beliefs about the benefits of relationships

Emotionally Available

  • Being willing and able to feel a wide range of emotions
  • Being willing and able to express these emotions
  • Versus conscious and/or unconscious denial


  • Being able to listen to another
    – Able to focus attention
    – Listen without self preoccupation, listen without judgement
  • Be able to understand
  • Be able to empathize
  • Be able to interpret the meaning of what is said correctly
  • Be able and willing to express ones self
    – Without defensiveness
    – Express self spontaneously and deliberately with fore thought

Capable, Interested, Available together

  • If interested we make our self available.
  • If available we seek out people who we could be interested in.
  • If capable, we have relationship hunger.  We seek out relationships. We have interest and make our self available

To begin reading the full article, let’s get started with Interested.